If you choked on your coffee this morning reading about the latest lunacy with the State Health Plan’s Blue Cross contract, stop fretting. I have finally figured it all out.
I have spent weeks astounded that the state where I grew up, the state that I love, would hire a State Health Plan Executive Administrator with a bogus PhD when North Carolina has some of the greatest health administrators and policy minds in the nation. I have spent weeks wondering how my state was duped into signing such a ridiculous contract with Blue Cross. I have spent months amazed that North Carolina Senators would propose subjecting state workers to random “smokerlyzer” tests while hiking cost sharing so drastically during an economic crisis. But now it all makes sense.
The reason the North Carolina Senate wanted to rush the State Health Plan bill and get it signed before April 1 is because of the press conference being planned by legislators, Blue Cross, and the State Health Plan, where they will announce that this whole episode was a giant April Fool’s Day prank.
I know it’s elaborate — but that’s the only explanation. At the press conference they are going to reveal the actual Blue Cross contract and break down administrative costs. The State Health Plan is going to show us the annual audits it has conducted. State Health Plan Executive Administrator Jack Walker will get big laughs when he discloses that his PhD is from Columbia University, not the unaccredited Columbia Pacific University. The Senate will introduce a new bill that gets needed funds to the State Health Plan before appointing a commission to study long term fixes. Everyone will apologize for causing so much concern. But they wanted to lighten the mood before kicking off what will be a stressful legislative session.
I don’t think the North Carolina House is in on the joke. They keep asking tough questions and are planning some long term solutions. But they should have the real Senate bill before too long.
So happy April Fool’s Day everyone! And happy April Fool’s Day to those clever pranksters in the Senate, at Blue Cross, and at the State Health Plan.