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It Figures

Clip-on TieWhen my husband, the greatest man in the universe, was a boy he had to wear a tie to school. One day an older boy silently looked him over, stuck a finger in his shirt collar, and established that his tie was in fact a clip-on. “It figures,” snorted Charlie. Ouch. We still laugh at that, the cutting brevity of the put-down one of life’s perfect (though at the time perfectly awful) moments. It comes to mind as the Board of Election hearings reveal new truths about our former governor. It figures.

What should we have expected from the man who brought us the lottery? I mean, the guy considers establishing that suckers’ game his biggest accomplishment. Sure, it’s taking from the poor to cover expenses rightfully paid for by taxes. And, yeah, it’s unseemly at best for the government to sponsor gambling. Shucks, it’s not really reducing class size the way it was supposed to do, but, hey, the man rammed it down the Legislature’s neck and he’s dang proud of it. He didn’t give a tinker’s damn about mentally ill citizens being neglected – if not suffering and dying – in the state’s care, but, dadgummit, he passed that lottery. It figures.

Easley even used his big lottery effort as an excuse yesterday during his lame testimony about how he didn’t know this and couldn’t be bothered with that. (Could we have interchanged his vague statements with Roger Goodell‘s yesterday? Almost. Certainly they were alike in spirit if not identical in content.) Easley can’t remember how many times he got McQueen Campbell to do whatever and whatnot for him because he was all taken up with the crucial lottery effort. Bully for us. Come to find out he was as fast and loose with campaign finances and, presumably, ethics, as he was with the state’s integrity. We won big, didn’t we? We got us a lottery and the now familiar specter of a state leader lookin’ crookeder and crookeder as the days go by. It figures.

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