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Bring It, Iowa!

Ashton KutcherWatch out, North Carolina. I told you we need to hit it if we want Brad and Angie to marry in our fair state. The race just got tighter as a third state now allows gay marriage. That state is, wait for it, IOWA! Yeah, I know, Idiots Out Walking Around. Don’t laugh though, Iowa could soon host the century’s hottest nuptials, all because we couldn’t get it together fast enough to let love carry the day.

Iowa’s Supreme Court, just this morning, unanimously ruled that the state’s law defining marriage as legal only between one man and one woman violated the state’s constitution. Not just that, mind you, the ruling specifies that gays and lesbians must be allowed to marry. In Iowa. Starting in just three short weeks. Iowa just shot way up in my book. No longer known to me simply as the birthplace of Ashton Kutcher, home of an early caucus, and the native state of best friend’s mom (who taught me memorable Iowisms like, “It’s raining like a cow peeing on a flat rock.”), Iowa is now totally happening.

All is not lost for our little backwoods, however, what Iowa has in progressive marital politics, we can surely top with natural beauty and business climate. I’m afraid they’ll take the hog prize, but let’s not let that stop us from winning the Jolie-Pitt business. No cougar chasin’ B-lister needs bragging rights over North Carolina!

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